{"product_id":"rozzie-bout-to-do-some-sh-t-jehovah-hasn-t-witnessed-tee","title":"Rozzie 'Bout to Do Some Sh*t Jehovah Hasn’t Witnessed' Tee","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"56\" data-end=\"137\"\u003eSome neighbors bring cookies. Some bring gossip. This one brings a warning label.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"139\" data-end=\"462\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"143\" data-end=\"193\"\u003e“Bout to Do Someshit Jehovah Hasn’t Witnessed”\u003c\/strong\u003e tee is pure Mildly Offensive energy: sweet vintage housewife charm wrapped around a sentence that absolutely should not be said at the church picnic. It’s perfect for anyone who smiles politely while mentally preparing to become the reason the HOA sends another email.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"537\"\u003eSoft, ridiculous, and just unholy enough to make strangers read it twice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"562\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"562\"\u003eWhy you’ll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"564\" data-end=\"833\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"3jhoid\" data-start=\"564\" data-end=\"601\"\u003eVintage-inspired neighborhood chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"2s5bfq\" data-start=\"602\" data-end=\"668\"\u003ePerfect for introverts, instigators, and front-yard philosophers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"167uwqh\" data-start=\"669\" data-end=\"724\"\u003eGreat conversation starter, terrible first impression\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"yd8qzx\" data-start=\"725\" data-end=\"778\"\u003eSoft everyday tee with questionable moral direction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"11m62qb\" data-start=\"779\" data-end=\"833\"\u003eOfficially not recommended for door-to-door ministry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"835\" data-end=\"905\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eWear it when you’re feeling friendly, but not spiritually accountable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"835\" data-end=\"905\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e34.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"835\" data-end=\"905\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":44160503250987,"sku":"31645301873004853716","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44160503283755,"sku":"10135380146990056473","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160503316523,"sku":"29435687513474721965","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":44160503349291,"sku":"13012926238934041892","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":44160503382059,"sku":"33647414794347450192","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44160503414827,"sku":"15044361452036768322","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160503447595,"sku":"98932111053473429945","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":44160503480363,"sku":"37937353262994391926","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":44160503513131,"sku":"19578451784539654737","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44160503545899,"sku":"12293737351142184602","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160503578667,"sku":"93400627523279218674","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":44160503611435,"sku":"17982483407258602179","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":44160503644203,"sku":"19712688973822762244","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Mustard","offer_id":44160503676971,"sku":"14689256313478925682","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160503709739,"sku":"88813474001057660035","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160503742507,"sku":"33906810926197967863","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":44160503775275,"sku":"10586038622661356719","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":44160503808043,"sku":"41482172751914660773","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Mustard","offer_id":44160503840811,"sku":"10314651912201420987","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160503873579,"sku":"73078690583044943634","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160503906347,"sku":"75863859234699381962","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":44160503939115,"sku":"18431734854807706340","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":44160503971883,"sku":"43868575244925742389","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160504004651,"sku":"24592254247782143356","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":44160504037419,"sku":"28932894135090825125","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160504070187,"sku":"31373002812220638967","price":45.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0686\/2418\/7435\/files\/13714426771248924074_2048.jpg?v=1780528353","url":"https:\/\/mildlyoffensiveapparel.com\/products\/rozzie-bout-to-do-some-sh-t-jehovah-hasn-t-witnessed-tee","provider":"Mildly Offensive Apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}