{"product_id":"rozzie-i-cant-that-week-i-am-shaving-my-butthole-tee","title":"Rozzie 'I can't that week, I am shaving my butthole'  Tee","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"55\" data-end=\"137\"\u003eFinally, a shirt for people who are tired of making fake excuses sound believable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"139\" data-end=\"395\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"143\" data-end=\"192\"\u003e“I Can’t That Week, I Am Shaving My Butthole”\u003c\/strong\u003e tee from the \u003cstrong data-start=\"206\" data-end=\"221\"\u003eRozzie Line\u003c\/strong\u003e is vintage housewife energy with absolutely no interest in being invited again. It’s polite, unhinged, and weirdly specific — which is usually how the best excuses are born.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"397\" data-end=\"572\"\u003ePerfect for anyone who has plans, hates plans, cancels plans, or just wants a shirt that makes people stop mid-sentence and question every decision that brought them near you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"574\" data-end=\"622\"\u003eSoft, comfortable, and aggressively unavailable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"624\" data-end=\"647\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"624\" data-end=\"647\"\u003eWhy you’ll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"649\" data-end=\"983\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"4h0o2k\" data-start=\"649\" data-end=\"694\"\u003eVintage-style graphic with distressed edges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"66wwpw\" data-start=\"695\" data-end=\"754\"\u003eLoud enough to be funny, specific enough to be concerning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1b5lf60\" data-start=\"755\" data-end=\"840\"\u003eGreat for casual wear, parties, awkward family events, or avoiding all of the above\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"13v6lbz\" data-start=\"841\" data-end=\"895\"\u003ePart of the Mildly Offensive Apparel \u003cstrong data-start=\"880\" data-end=\"895\"\u003eRozzie Line\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"137u4km\" data-start=\"896\" data-end=\"983\"\u003eA perfect gift for that friend who treats social obligations like a hostage situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"985\" data-end=\"1051\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eWear it when “I’m busy” just doesn’t have enough emotional damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e34.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"985\" data-end=\"1051\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":44160510001195,"sku":"28878800118077664160","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":44160510033963,"sku":"16954728814026988000","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160510066731,"sku":"13608413610180210404","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":44160510099499,"sku":"15340475062096622321","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":44160510132267,"sku":"15750335261338014949","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":44160510165035,"sku":"18590182373656013870","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160510197803,"sku":"14739638709908377689","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":44160510230571,"sku":"28125283363478140979","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":44160510263339,"sku":"58351009667674070226","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":44160510296107,"sku":"44139800344513829888","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160510328875,"sku":"14385496972801086850","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":44160510361643,"sku":"19175726460969228833","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":44160510394411,"sku":"32808458677915609259","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Mustard","offer_id":44160510427179,"sku":"31392449016858040342","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160510459947,"sku":"71675038088889612069","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160510492715,"sku":"10062602840961205355","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":44160510525483,"sku":"10355123560303127194","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":44160510558251,"sku":"66726140786025653262","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Mustard","offer_id":44160510591019,"sku":"16739048717793657966","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160510623787,"sku":"16635258002457109183","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":44160510656555,"sku":"33821147456203188929","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":44160510689323,"sku":"33014706979670096074","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":44160510722091,"sku":"11947649563433855994","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160510754859,"sku":"15860038173715062692","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":44160510787627,"sku":"66930685965116341755","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":44160510820395,"sku":"18272248237825800415","price":45.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0686\/2418\/7435\/files\/9820625845054660098_2048.jpg?v=1780528542","url":"https:\/\/mildlyoffensiveapparel.com\/products\/rozzie-i-cant-that-week-i-am-shaving-my-butthole-tee","provider":"Mildly Offensive Apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}