I Can't That Week, I'm Shaving My Butthole Tee

Shaving My Butthole Tee — Rozzie Collection

Sorry, can’t make it. Got plans.

The Shaving My Butthole Tee from the Rozzie Collection celebrates the fine art of giving people way more information than they ever asked for. Featuring a perfectly proper vintage housewife casually explaining, “I can’t that week, I am shaving my Butthole,” this design pairs wholesome mid-century charm with an excuse nobody is going to question.

The distressed retro artwork looks like something pulled straight from a 1950s magazine—assuming 1950s magazines had significantly fewer editorial standards.

Wear it to the bar, the cookout, family gatherings, or anywhere someone might make the mistake of asking what you’re doing next weekend.

Why You’ll Love It

Classic vintage Americana with absolutely no class
Distressed artwork for an authentically aged look
Large statement back graphic
An extremely effective way to decline future invitations
Part of the Mildly Offensive Apparel Rozzie Collection

Mildly Offensive Apparel™
You could just say you’re busy. But where’s the fun in that?

Because guessing isn't a sizing strategy.

Our unisex tees have a modern, slightly fitted cut. If you're between sizes or prefer a looser fit, size up. Grab a shirt you already love, lay it flat, and compare the measurements below.

Our unisex tees have a modern, slightly fitted cut. If you're between sizes or prefer a looser fit, size up.

Pro tip: Measure a shirt you already love instead of measuring yourself. It's easier, more accurate, and involves significantly less emotional damage.

Size	Chest Width	Body Length
XS	17½"	27"
S	19"	28"
M	20½"	29"
L	22"	30"
XL	24"	31"
2XL	26"	32"
3XL	28"	33"
4XL	30"	34"
5XL	32"	35"
6XL	34"	36"

HOW TO MEASURE

Chest Width: Lay your favorite T-shirt flat and measure straight across from armpit to armpit.

Body Length: Measure from the highest point of the shoulder down to the bottom hem.

I Can't That Week, I'm Shaving My Butthole Tee

MORE BAD DECISIONS